How to Access Care and Support Before, During, and After a Pregnancy Ending 

Factors that influence your ability to access an abortion easily include:

• Geography: In more rural areas, people often have to travel to their nearest large city to find a clinic. This can result in extra costs, extra stress, and additional stress during recovery. 
  
• Provider’s skills and willingness: Procedural abortions rely on the doctors in a region having the necessary skills to perform abortions beyond a certain gestation. The law permits providers to assert ‘conscientious objection’ if they do not morally agree with abortions. 
  
• Racism and immigration status: For many racialised people, interacting with formal systems can result in additional harm happening to them. Abortion care is not exempt from this. Abortion is also subject to NHS charging, which means that some migrants have to pay for their abortions, and there is often a lack of clarity around mandatory reporting.
  
• Transphobia and Transmysia (a form of prejudice and discrimination against people who are transgender or gender expansive): Abortion providers often exclude trans and non-binary people from the language they use when they fail to recognise that it isn’t just cisgender women who need abortions.  
  
• Language and accessible information: Information on abortion is predominantly in English and still relies on a lot of jargon and complex terms. These can be hard to translate or research, especially if a person is navigating a time-sensitive situation.
  
• Stigma and shame: Abortion stigma exists across all areas of society despite abortions being common. Stigma and shame to ask for help and support.

Planning considerations  

Not all of the barriers to accessing abortion have simple solutions, but some things can be done to ensure people from communities experiencing marginalisation access abortions in ways that are not just physically safe and legal but affirming and emotionally safe, too. Planning ahead of time can help a person to feel more in control and at the centre of the abortion process. 

• Care plans: A care plan contains information on how a person would like to receive care. You can create a care plan by yourself or with people in your support networks. They can be extremely helpful when navigating an abortion and can help to soothe anxiety and prepare for all outcomes. They should include practical things like:
  • When to take pills
  • Where the nearest hospital is
  • Who would you like to be present during the abortion
  • What pain relief will you take
  • Emergency Contact
  • Comforting things to have nearby during your abortion
  • Any religious or cultural aspects you would like to include
  • What food and snacks would you like to have nearby, and more? 
• Abortion doula: A doula is someone who provides emotional, practical and physical support to someone having an abortion. They don’t have to be medical professionals and may not work within clinics. This can be in the shape of accompaniment, helping you to devise a care plan, meal planning, debriefs, and more. Many doulas offer free or subsidised support. 
  
• Providing transport: Many people will have to travel for their abortions, and this can be expensive and time-consuming. Offering someone a lift or agreeing to sign someone out of the hospital after their procedure can be extremely helpful.
• Providing childcare: Parents have abortions, too, so providing or arranging childcare can be extremely helpful during and after an abortion. 
  
• Knowing your legal rights: Abortion law can be confusing. It is helpful to know your rights about abortion and to share this information in accessible ways with others in your community. This can also be a helpful opportunity to remind people of their right to confidentiality and any mandatory reporting procedures they may be concerned about. 
  
• Rights at work: Ideally, everyone who has an abortion would be able to take time off work to rest and begin their recovery. This is not always possible, especially for people in precarious employment.
  • You do not have to disclose your abortion to your employer, and it is illegal for your employer to discriminate against you due to your pregnancy status. 
  • Speaking to your trade union about your rights to request time off can be helpful.  
  • Some workplaces have compassionate leave for miscarriages but do not extend this to abortion. A union representative can support you in advocating for yourself and ensure this leave is available.
    
• Financial support: Abortions can be expensive, and setting up care funds for your friends, family, and community members can help alleviate the financial burden. If money is not an option, you can also support people by bringing them food or helping with household chores and tasks.

Emotional responses

There is no right way to feel about an abortion. It’s common to feel relief, especially when time limits and legal parameters make the process stressful. In addition to this, many people also say they experience sadness, grief, confusion, joy, numbness, and more. Abortion stigma and shame often pressure people into feeling like they need to be sad after an abortion, but many people don’t feel this way at all. All feelings are valid and deserve to be held with equal amounts of respect.

The way someone visualises and experiences an abortion is also unique to them. Many people have mixed feelings about referring to their abortions as a ‘baby,’ but if that feels affirming to you, it’s perfectly okay to use that term. The people providing care to you should be encouraged to use terminology that is comfortable for you, too. 

Of all the emotions and feelings people feel after an abortion, most people report feeling relieved. This can be hard to talk about due to the stigma surrounding abortion, which often paints it out to be a challenging and sad decision. It’s common to feel joy and to view your abortion as an act of self-determination and bodily autonomy. Equally, it’s common to view an abortion neutrally and not have any feelings attached to it. Abortion is healthcare, and our responses to healthcare vary from person to person. 

Grief is also a common experience people feel throughout the abortion process. Sometimes, this is for the pregnancy that ended and the different direction your life could have taken. Other times, the grief might be centred around the changes in a person’s body or the frustration at having to deal with an abortion. Sometimes, the over-medicalisation (the excessive use of medical interventions) of abortion can result in people feeling more isolated for expressing loss and grief over the passing of a pregnancy. Regardless of where the grief stems from, it is valid and deserves to be held with care.

Mental health support

Abortions are physical, mental, and hormonal transitions in a person’s life. Unless someone explicitly wants to, they should not have to navigate these transitions alone. 

It can help to talk about your abortion to a mental health professional or someone who isn’t in your immediate network. Friends and family can be a great source of support. Equally, it can be hard to gauge how your network responds to abortion and how they interact with abortion stigma, so speaking to someone external may be preferable.

Some counsellors and therapists specifically support people who have had abortions, but this is not a necessity. If you’re already seeing a therapist, you could ask them about their stance on abortion and if they have experience in this area before disclosing this to them.

Telling friends and family

A person may also wish to tell their friends, family, and community members about their abortion and seek from people they know and trust.  It can be hard to anticipate how someone might react to you sharing your abortion story, especially if it’s not a topic you’ve discussed in detail before. You might be positively surprised by someone’s reaction. On the flip side, sharing an abortion story with someone can often bring out their internalised stigma. 

It can be helpful to try and manage your expectations when it comes to friends and family and to reflect on what you want and need from this person at that moment. These expectations might be shaped by previous conversations you’ve had, familial relationships, assumed beliefs we have around us, culture, religion and more.

Sometimes, people don’t know how to react to abortion stories, and these can be good opportunities to let them know what kind of support you need and how to empathetically let you know if they don’t have the capacity to support you in that way. 

People often have different expectations when it comes to abortion—both their own and those around them. Some may expect support and understanding, while others might anticipate opinions or advice, whether welcomed or not. It’s important to recognise that you have the right to set boundaries around these conversations and ask for the kind of support you need.

If you’ve made your decision and don’t want advice, you could be clear about that by saying something like, “I’m not looking for opinions, just for you to listen and respect my choice.” On the other hand, if you want input from someone, you might find it helpful to guide them on how to offer it in a supportive way rather than judgmental. You could say, “I’d like to hear your thoughts, but I need you to focus on being kind and non-judgemental in how you express them.”

Abortion can bring up a range of emotions and external pressures, so honouring your own boundaries is key. Whether it’s asking for reassurance, emotional support, or simply space to process things in your own way, you deserve to be cared for in a way that feels right for you. Be clear with yourself and others about what you need, and don’t be afraid to reinforce those boundaries if necessary.

It’s a personal choice whether or not you share your abortion with others – you’re never required to if you don’t want to or aren’t ready.

Postpartum care

Postpartum means after pregnancy. 

After an abortion, the body is left in a postpartum state. This is also true for miscarriages, stillbirths, and the birth of a living child. Abortion stigma often means that people erase or are unaware of this and think that after an abortion, people return to normal after a day or two of rest. Some people may also believe that medication or early abortion feels similar to having a heavy period and is something that people recover from very quickly.

The reality is, however, that abortion is a very personal and unique experience. Each abortion is different, and so is a person’s postpartum journey. It can take several weeks to stop bleeding and regain energy levels, just as it can take several weeks for hormone levels to return to pre-pregnancy amounts. Many people will have heavier, more painful and sometimes irregular periods after an abortion. 

Physically, the body goes through many of these transitions, and the expectation to ‘bounce back’ is unrealistic and counterproductive. In addition, the changes someone goes through during the end of a pregnancy are also emotional and mental. It can take time for someone’s emotions and mood to stabilise. They might need more time to process things and cannot carry out activities at the same pace as pre-pregnancy. 

Postpartum care can differ depending on the pregnancy outcome, but several components remain consistent. These include rest, hydration, nourishing and comforting food, emotional support, and connection to the people around you.

All pregnancies come to an end, and all pregnancy endings deserve care, compassion, and love.   

Our final guide will unpack different types of abortions and some of the care and considerations needed to navigate them.

This post was written by AZ in partnership with Ad’iyah.; a organisation supporting Muslims and their communities through pregnancy endings.

Disclaimer

This article was developed in March 2025. At the time of writing, the details about the content and author were accurate. The next revision is scheduled for April 2026.

The information provided in this guide is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, medical, or professional advice. While we strive to ensure accuracy, laws and healthcare guidelines may change, and individual circumstances vary. We strongly encourage you to seek advice from qualified legal or healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation. Spark & Co. is not responsible for any actions taken based on the information provided in this guide.